There
is a darkness in the world. A darkness far larger than the darkness
that is inside of every man, that includes these smaller shadows and
feeds on it. One man controls this darkness. And only one seal can
stop it.
Cary
reports back to his father, a creature of shadow, the utter privation
of goodness. “Thank you, my son,” he growls. “There shall be
actions taken.”
“Not
if I have anything to say about it!” Cary and the supreme
incarnation of evil turn swiftly around. It's Albert! In his years
abroad he's trained in, like, ninjutsu, I guess? Tae kwon do? Some
crazy seal martial art. Anyway. He crashes through the window that's
in the volcano lair. I don't know why there's a window. Just. Go with
it please.
“No!
Go after him, my son!” The Darkness shouts. Action! Excitement!
Danger! Think about how crazy this fight scene would be in a movie
and not being read piecemeal by a bunch of people who want to
contradict those who came before them. So, like, Alfred (is it
Albert? Fuck) somehow gets the better of Cary, even though he's an
elephant seal, and have you seen how crazy those dudes look? They've
got noses like summer squashes. And then he's standing over the being
of supreme darkness, with a katana between his flippers.
“Your
nefarious meddling has seen its end, Volkazar!” Albert shouts.
“Wait!
The prophecy!” Evil Incarnate shouts.
“Prophecy
this, motherfucker!” Albert shouts, plunging his katana into the
heart of darkness.
Jorge
and Mary and John all live happy and fulfilling lives now that a
goddamn elephant seal has saved the world.
Kyle does a magic trick!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.